😐 At a glance
Poha — the humble Maharashtrian breakfast, once a ₹25 railway station staple — has now been gentrified into an ₹449 “Curated Flattened Rice Experience” in South Bombay and Bengaluru cafes.
Kabhi ameero ke yahan poha khaya hai?
Poha nahi bhai, “Quinoa Infused Flattened Millet Medley” khilate hain.
🥣 Ameeron Ka Poha vs Gareebon Ka Poha
| Feature | Gareebon Ka Poha | Ameero Ka Poha |
|---|---|---|
| Price | ₹20 – ₹40 | ₹299 – ₹499 |
| Location | Tapri, nukkad | Instagram café with rustic wooden benches |
| Ingredients | Chivda, moongfali, hara dhaniya | Avocado flakes, pumpkin seeds, microgreens |
| Service | Kaka brings it in steel plate | “Poha will take 18 mins, sir. It’s slow-cooked.” |
| Name | Poha | Flavoured Desi Rice Bowl |
| Side Dish | Tarri, chai | Activated coconut water |
🤯 Real-Life “Luxury Poha” Sightings
- Bandra: “Spiced turmeric poha with ghee-fried cashews” – ₹399
- Koramangala: “Poha risotto with lime espuma” – ₹449
- Delhi: “Fusion pohé with za’atar masala and labneh foam” – ₹499
Bhai, poha kha raha hoon ya Michelin star course?
💼 Who’s Eating This?
- Venture capitalists who say “sustainable food chain”
- Tech bros who do intermittent fasting and cheat with “just a small carb”
- Influencers who say “this poha reminds me of my nani” (even though nani made aloo paratha)
🧾 Sample Luxury Poha Menu Description:
“Sun-dried, hand-roasted flattened rice sautéed in cold-pressed mustard oil, served with crunchy textures and an emotional aftertaste. Best paired with Himalayan pink salt lassi.”
Price: ₹429 + GST + service charge + guilt
📉 Taste Comparison
| Poha Type | Taste | Emotional Satisfaction |
|---|---|---|
| Tapri Poha | 10/10 | 200% |
| Mom-made Poha | 12/10 | Infinite |
| Luxury Cafe Poha | 6/10 | “Hmmm… interesting” |
| Insta Poha (reel-only) | 0/10 | Looks > Taste |
🧘 EduInvesting Take
Ameero ke yahan poha isn’t poha.
It’s performance art.
You’re not eating.
You’re participating in a branded cultural reinterpretation of your own trauma.
But respect to the hustle.
Poha ko ₹449 tak le jaana = stock market se zyada growth.
Final Word:
If your poha doesn’t come with sev, moongfali, and tapri vibes —
Then bro… you didn’t eat poha. You got IPO’d.
📅 Written by Prashant Marathe
📍 Date: 31 May 2025
Tags: luxury poha culture, hipster India food, poha satire, poha inflation 2025, Indian breakfast gentrification, EduInvesting humor, poha memes, café culture India, desi food gone global
