🟢 At a Glance:
Every IPO these days drops with cinematic trailer-level hype. Oversubscribed in minutes. Listing gains like they’re startup unicorns. But 30 days later? Silent exits, red candles, and confused investors. Just like Tinder: good first impression, poor follow-up. SEBI might regulate disclosures, but can they regulate heartbreak?
🎬 Scene 1: The Trailer is Better Than the Movie
Let’s talk about how IPOs are pitched now:
- ✨ “Disruptive tech-enabled platform”
- 💹 “Scalable asset-light B2B2C model”
- 💰 “100x TAM opportunity in rural tier 2 SaaS adjacents”
Reality:
- Distributor of LED bulbs to 3 wholesalers in Jaipur
- Already had 2 directors quit before listing
Like a hot Tinder bio that says: Yoga, Travel, Growth Mindset 💫 — but won’t reply after you match.
🧻 The SME IPO Craze is Now a Meme
| IPO | Listing Gain | 30-day Return | Status |
|---|---|---|---|
| VeryFancy Fintech | +40% | -28% | Ghosted |
| Something Tech Ltd | +120% | -45% | No Reply Since Listing |
| BiryaniChain IPO | +80% | -67% | Still Frying |
| Midcap Motors | +7% | -4% | Seen Zone |
SMEs are the new catfishes.
They look glamorous during subscription. But when earnings season comes? No calls. No results. Just vibes.
📈 Why Do People Keep Swiping (Investing)?
- Adrenaline Rush:
- The listing pop feels like a match notification.
- You feel chosen. Special. Lucky.
- Fear of Missing Out:
- “This one’s different!”
- Same line used in dating and SME IPOs.
- Peer Pressure:
- “My friend got 2 lots and made ₹11,000”
- You didn’t even get allotment. But you still feel FOMO.
- The Listing Pop Flex:
- Screenshot of +18% on Day 1 = Modern Love Letter to your Finance Group.
💸 Who’s Behind the Flirting?
- Merchant Bankers: Pumping valuations with 7x revenue projections
- Finfluencers: Doing romantic reels on “How I got 5 lots and retired early”
- Telegram Tipsters: Whispering sweet nothings like “Strong GMP, apply 3 lots”
And just like Tinder date advice from Reddit — None of it works in real life.
😬 The Ghosting Phase (Post Listing)
| Stage | Description |
| Pre-IPO | Clean DRHP, dreamy words, promises |
| Listing Day | Boom, oversubscription flex, insta stories |
| T+7 | Price starts correcting “due to profit booking” |
| T+30 | Down 40%, promoters missing, auditor resigns |
| T+90 | RoC filing shows ₹11 lakh revenue. RIP. |
SME love is blind. And unaudited.
🧠 EduInvesting Take:
Most IPOs today are just:
“Great bios, no depth. Overhyped, underdelivered.”
SEBI can regulate DRHPs, but they can’t stop:
- Valuation catfishing
- GMP manipulation
- “Exclusive anchor investor” clickbait
Until retail investors learn:
- To swipe left on bad fundamentals
- To ask for real revenues before revenue projections
The IPO market will remain Tinder for investors who want love… but get a pump-and-dump relationship.
🧾 Final Word:
Tinder promises connection. IPOs promise value. Both deliver anxiety.
Next time your broker sends an IPO alert, ask: Is this real, or just another profile pic with heavy filters?
Don’t get catfished by the primary market.
Swipe responsibly.
Author: Prashant Marathe
Date: June 3, 2025
Tags: IPO satire, SME IPOs, listing gains, GMP hype, SEBI IPO, EduInvesting dating analogy
