📅 May 12, 2025
🧠 Platform: Groww
👀 Issue: Sudden spike in portfolio value — to ₹7.36 CRORES — from an investment of just ₹16.18 lakh.
🎭 Genre: Comedy + Finance + Technical Glitch

🧨 Wait… ₹16 Lakh Turned Into ₹7.36 Crore?! Groww, Bro… What You Smoking?

It’s a regular Monday. Nifty’s flying. Sensex is vibing. You sip your chai, open Groww — and BAM 💥 — you’re staring at a portfolio worth ₹7.36 crore. No, it’s not an inheritance. No, you didn’t buy 2,000 Adani shares before the rally. It’s just…

🐛 A Glitch in the Matrix. A.k.a. Groww App.

🖼️ The Glorious Screenshot

📉 The Real Story

If you look closely at the holdings:

• RBZ Jewellers: Up ₹7.2 crore apparently 🤡
• Lumax Industries: ₹20K profit (this one looks real)
• Tata Motors: ₹1.4L profit — nice, but not billionaire vibes
• Hero MotoCorp: ₹727.50 gain… definitely not 8-figure gains

So yes, the numbers don’t math. It’s a UI glitch, not a stock market miracle.

🧃 Possible Theories Behind the Glitch

1. Pakistan’s Cyber Army trying to inject false hope into Indian retail investors before ceasefire peace talks 💣
2. Groww’s backend dev typed return *= 1000 for fun
3. AI tried to simulate your ideal retirement portfolio and accidentally went live 🤖
4. It’s May 12 — unofficial National Manifest Crorepati Energy Day 🌌

👨‍💻 Investors’ Reactions

• You: “Bhai I’m rich! Resign letter ready, boss ka WhatsApp block kar diya.”
• Groww: “Please note: Portfolio values may display incorrect returns due to a temporary glitch.”
• RBI: “We’re still trying to control inflation; please don’t run wild with fake crores.”
• Your Mom: “Beta finally listened to me and invested in gold.”

😂 Twitter Right Now

📈 @stonks4life: “Groww just showed I made 7 Cr from RBZ Jewellers. I’m buying a Tesla and a donkey.”
👩‍⚖️ @SEBInator: “Technically, if I screenshot it, I can claim it in a court of memes.”
🚀 @CryptoPeasant: “See? Even your brokers rug pull. At least Dogecoin is consistent in disappointment.”

🛠️ Groww’s Official Statement (Probably)

“We’re experiencing a display issue affecting a small number of users (aka every second user). Your actual holdings are safe, though your crorepati dream might be temporary.”

⚠️ PSA to Investors:

If your portfolio looks like Mukesh Ambani’s, chill. Don’t quit your job. Don’t buy a Mercedes. And don’t marry just yet.

💡 It’s just a glitch. Not a gift from Laxmi Mata.

📌 Meanwhile… Nifty & Sensex Also Flying

Looks like everyone is in a good mood today. Markets are rallying, apps are glitching, and retail investors are hallucinating crores.

🏁 Final Take

Until Groww fixes it, you’re technically a crorepati. So go ahead:

• Screenshot.
• Frame it.
• Manifest it.
• And return to reality.

Because tomorrow’s CPI data could slap us all back to poverty again.