Disclaimer: This guide is 100% satire. Do not call your broker yelling “Put options on Lahore!” after reading this. Markets are serious business. This article is not.
Welcome to the financial crossover episode ofLagaan meets The Big Short.
As Operation Sindoor sends stock tickers into a tizzy and Pakistani TV anchors into existential spirals, many patriotic Indian investors are asking the most pressing question since “When will RRR win the Oscar?”
👉How do I short Pakistan’s market from India?
The answer is:You don’t.But does that stop us from giving you a 1000-word masterclass on how youcould if the laws of finance, logic, and international relations all collectively took a chai break?Absolutely not.
🧠 Step 1: Understand the “market” you’re shorting
Pakistan’s KSE-100 index is like your friend who talks big on social media but goes private after one meme. It’s
been wobbling like a poorly built flyover and reacts to news slower than government servers on exam result day.
Key economic indicators:
| Metric | Value | Commentary |
|---|---|---|
| KSE-100 Volatility | 10/10 | Bounces harder than Dhoni’s helicopter shot |
| Currency Strength | Weakening | One inflation scare away from trading in coconuts |
| Foreign Reserves | 🤐 | Rumored to be stored in a single Axis Bank locker |
💣 Step 2: Launch “Operation Portfolio Sindoor”
You’ll need:
- A VPN so strong it can teleport your Demat account to Karachi.
- A fake name likeShaan Khanwalafor plausible deniability.
- A screenshot of “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” as your phone wallpaper for passive-aggressive motivation.
🧨 Step 3: Derivatives? More like De-Risk-atives
Since short-selling isn’t allowed for cross-border stonks (not unless you enjoy SEBI’s full attention), your next best
